Friday, June 23, 2017

My Story: Life With A Narcopath Part VII

STOP RIGHT THERE! If you haven't started from the beginning, you need to start here before going further.....................
After my grandmother passed things were good and bad between us. We had periods of good times and period of bad times. We knew we were going to be getting an inheritance from my grandmother but we didn’t know exactly how much. Since I was her grandchild instead of her child, I didn’t get as much money but it was definitely plenty. We were not really looking to buy a house but somehow we came across a real estate agency that specialized in houses that had been foreclosed on. We were not planning on buying a house but we found one that we got for super cheap, it just needed a lot of work done. We didn’t expect them to accept our low offer on the house but they did.

A few months prior to this Robert had been injured at work and couldn’t go back to work until his shoulder was fixed surgically.. He was off work for about a year getting worker’s compensation. He was still off of work at this time but did the majority of the work on the house. The supplies were purchased with my inheritance money and he did the physical labor. We ran out of money for fixing it up and he talked me into borrowing $4,000 from my mother to finish the last few things we needed in order to be able to move in. I didn’t want to have to ask her for the money because I don’t like to ask anyone for anything. He kept pushing me and pushing me to do it with the promise that we would pay her back with the following year’s tax return. I did it but I didn’t like it... he just always has a way of pushing people into doing things.

A few months before we moved in, I got a message from a girl on Facebook named Theresa. She had gone to the same college I was going to. We had one class together and I had only talked to her briefly once or twice. She told me that she heard I was moving close to her and she thought it would be great to have a friend close and maybe we could hang out some time. I just assumed that she saw my posts on Facebook talking about moving into our new house and that was how she knew because we had a lot of mutual friends. I really didn’t think much of it at the time. We were moving to a new town where I didn’t know anyone so I thought it would be great to have someone I knew close around.

I was still going to college at the time with only a few months left. I remember one day, Robert made a comment saying he heard I was flirting with guys in class. I thought he was joking around and I just laughed about it but he said he was serious. This confused me because there was only one guy in the class I was in at the time and I had only talked to him a few times and certainly never flirted with him. This kind of freaked me out because I began thinking is he having someone follow me? But I haven’t even flirted with anyone so what the Hell is he even talking about??



Once the house was almost ready we would spend our days together at the house painting while the kids were in school, and we had a lot of fun. It finally felt like things were all coming together for us. We were getting along good, we finally had our own house and wouldn’t have to worry about rent or a mortgage payment. I felt like things were turning around for us and maybe if we weren't so stressed about money we wouldn't fight as much.

We got moved and settled into our new home. I had been talking to Theresa on a regular basis online. She was married with 4 kids. A few weeks after we moved in, we went over to Theresa’s house for a bonfire and to meet some of her other friends. I thought this was going to be great because now we will have lots of friends in the area to talk to and get together with. We had fun at their house. Her husband was very serious and didn’t seem to have much fun but the rest of us did. Theresa seemed to be the exact opposite of me but we still talked and had fun when we hung out.

That summer we ended up doing a lot of things with Theresa and her family: bonfires, cookouts, camping trips..etc. We were with them almost every weekend. When Robert had his surgery 2 hours away, she even went with us to keep me company for the day while he was in surgery and recovery.

Not long after we had moved into our new house, Robert started becoming distant again. He was holding back the affection and was treating me differently. I finally confronted him about it again and told him that this is exactly how it began the other 2 times that we separated. He apologized, said that he hadn’t noticed and that he would work on being better about that stuff, and he assured me that what happened before wasn’t going to happen ever again.

He didn’t fix it and he didn’t change anything. We were becoming even more distant. He eventually started sleeping on the couch because of his injury, saying that he couldn’t get comfortable in bed. I thought that once he had surgery and it was fixed he would start sleeping next to me again but even after surgery he continued sleeping on the couch.

He eventually went back to work and I graduated from college. I was so proud when I graduated college. I worked so hard for those 2 years and graduated with a 3.7 gpa. I had looked forward to this day for a long time when I would have my degree in my hand. The night I graduated, Robert and the kids were there along with my mother. When the ceremony was over, all of the graduates were waiting for family. I stood there and watched as family members came in and hugged their graduates telling them how proud they were as I waited for my family. My husband walked up to me, said, “LET’S GO!” and we left. He never once told me congratulations or told me that he was proud of me. This hurt my deeply. I thought I was doing something to help our family out and he acted like he was more annoyed than anything else.

We still hung out with Theresa and her family just not as much. I had a party for my graduation and she came with her children, and she even came to our children’s birthday parties and brought them gifts.


Things were still bad between Robert and I, and they just progressively got worse. Theresa and I talked a lot via Facebook messenger and texts. She was having problems with her own husband. She told me about how controlling he was and how he watched every move she made and how she had to make him a 4 course meal every night or he would flip out. I told her about my problems with my husband and we would joke about how we should kick them both out and all move in to a great big house together.

We still went to their house once in awhile but not as much as we used to. I remember that I began feeling out of place when we would go to their house. My husband was the fun outgoing guy that her kids loved being around and when we were at their house he would pretty much ignore me while having fun with her kids and talking to her and her husband. It got to the point where I didn’t even like going over there much any more and I realized how much she and I didn’t have anything at all in common. Our kids loved going over there and playing with her kids but I began making excuses not to go over there just because of how uncomfortable I felt when we were with them.

It wasn’t long after that that Theresa told me that her husband Gary thought something was going on between her and Robert. She laughed about it. I didn’t really suspect anything because I didn’t notice any odd interactions between the two of them plus I was home when he was home and he never went anywhere without me or the kids so I couldn’t see how it would even be possible. Theresa made a joke out of it talking about how paranoid and crazy Gary was and she told me, “I hope you don’t believe that do you? Robert is like a brother to me and you are one of my best friends and I would never do that to you!”. Of course I believed her and told her I knew there was nothing going on.

PART VIII Coming soon! Stay tuned by subscribing to my email list above!

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