Thursday, February 9, 2017

My Story: Narcissism and Sociopath Awareness

Thanks to Allyn at hitthegem.com, I have been inspired to share my story. I have a story; we all have a story. Our stories are what have shaped and molded us into what we are today. It can be cathartic to share your own story, and maybe, just maybe, someone out there can relate to your story or even learn from it.

Soon, I am going to be focusing on a more serious subject. It is still related to the blog in just about every way possible. It's about being in a relationship with a narcissist and/or a sociopath, or a narcopath which is both characteristics in one.

To be honest, when I heard someone call another person a narcissist, I thought it meant that they were vain and conceited. I had no idea what the real definition of a narcissist was.

I knew throughout my marriage that something just wasn't right about my now ex husband. A lot of things about him just didn't seem right and didn't make sense. After he left for the final time, someone had mentioned that he sounded like a sociopath. I looked up the characteristics of a sociopath and this is what I found:

Symptoms of a Sociopath

  • Overly confident (conceited)
  • Lies constantly
  • Manipulates people
  • Has numerous relationships (typically one right after the other without much time in between)
  • Never takes responsibility for anything they do wrong (it's always someone else's fault)
  • Can't keep a job
  • Doesn't have many long time friends
  • Resists following rules and/or laws (thinks that they are above the laws)

This was him, to a "t". My ex husband is a sociopath. Once I learned what a sociopath was, I did some more research and also felt that my ex husband resembled a narcissist also.

Symptoms of a Narcissistic Personality

  • Exaggerating achievements (bragging about being the best at everything they do)
  • Believing that they are entitled to everything and expect to have everything handed to them
  • Taking advantage of others to get what they want
  • Expecting special favors from others around them
  • Doesn't recognize the feelings or needs of others
  • Can not be empathetic (see above)
  • Very arrogant
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even when they have done nothing to deserve it
  • Extremely greedy
  • Self centered
These types of personalities are extremely dangerous. They can be abusive both mentally and physically. They will manipulate everyone around them to get what they want. They will love bomb and gaslight people in their lives to win them over. They have no sense of remorse and can ruin lives without having a second thought. 

One of the worst situations to be in, is in a relationship with either one of these types of people. The relationship will consist of a lot of abuse and controlling. It will never be a healthy relationship, and it's better to know the signs before you get in to deep. These people are masters of lying and manipulation and will win you over by playing the part of everything you want them to be. They are like a chameleon and will change their colors to adapt to their surroundings They want and have to fit in so they will change their entire personality to fit in. They don't know how to love and they never will. 

Unless you have experienced a narcissist or sociopath, you can not fathom what the experience is like. You can not understand the control and power they have over you until you have been through it.

This is why I have decided to share my story. It's been 14 long years of dealing with a narcopath and the majority of those years have been Hell. We are divorced now, so the control is gone but because we have children together, I still have to deal with his manipulation tactics. I'm going to share my story in a series of short stories right here. I've been working on the first installment for a few days now. Fifteen years is a long time; a lot of memories and a lot of hurt and pain. I'm going to share it all with you. This is taking a lot out of me to write this but I feel like it is something that needs to be done. Not only will it help me to share my story but I am hoping that it will help others from going through the things I went through and maybe some of you will be able to share your own story. We all have a story. 

A few years ago, I began writing an auto-biography but it was never finished. I kind of lost interest and I felt as if no one would be interested in reading it, so it was pointless. I decided to start where I left off and will be working on finishing this book eventually. Once it is finished, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, whether it be an e-book or a printed book but one day it will be released 

I'm hoping that you will come along with me on this journey of sharing my story. Please sign up for my newsletter (upper right hand side bar) so that you can know when a new episode of my story has been posted. I would love to hear your stories as well.

PART I My Story: Life With A Narcopath

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