Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Abusive Relationships: You Are Not Alone

If you are in an abusive relationship, I want you to know that you are not alone.

Abuse doesn't have to be strictly physical abuse. It can be a plethora of behaviors.

Abuse is when someone continually tries to manipulate you and control you. Abuse is when someone blatantly lies to you over and over again. Abuse is when the person projects what they are doing onto you, accusing you of doing the things they are doing while maintaining their innocence. Abuse is blaming you for all of their problems; everything is your fault. Abuse is putting their hands on you, wrapping their hands around your neck, pushing you, kicking you, hitting you. Abuse is keeping you away from your family and friends, and viewing you as a possession, not a person.

All of these things are abuse, and narcissists thrive on abuse. They manipulate and take advantage of their "supply" aka YOU. They don't know how to truly love anyone because they only love themselves.

It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. They are the ones who have this mental disorder. They will never take responsibility for what they are doing wrong unless they are apologizing to get something else out of it.

I know that you feel like you are a prisoner in your own home, you are trapped, and there is no way out. You feel hopeless and you cry on a daily basis.

I know. I've been there. I've even written a book about my experience called, "The Devil's Masquerade". I've researched this topic endlessly and I've spoken to numerous victims of narcissists and narcopaths (narcissistic sociopaths).

I know you feel alone, and you don't understand what is happening or why this is happening to you. I'm offering my hand. Grab my hand and let's talk about it.

You have to know that this is not what your life is meant to be. There is something better out there for you, but it's going to take work to get there. It's going to hurt, a lot, but the end results will be amazing. You can have your life back again, and you need to get out before it's too late.

I am no expert by any means and I am not offering up any expert advice, however, I feel that my knowledge and experience can be beneficial to anyone going through this. I didn't have anyone to talk to when I was going through all of this and it was the loneliest time of my life. I don't want you to feel alone anymore.

I understand how a narcissist thinks and many of the manipulation tactics. I also know some of the best ways to deal with a narcissist, especially when there are children involved. I can help you understand what is happening to you and why they are the way that they are.

I am offering a 30 minute one on one interruption-free chat session (via Skype) for $10. You can use the button below to secure a chat session and then I will contact you to set up a time that works best for you.

30 Minute Chat Session - email
I've been through it all and I came out shining bright on the other side. You don't realize how strong you really are until you have no other choice but to BE STRONG. 


Thursday, January 18, 2018

How to Get Over Being Cheated On and Move On

Have you ever had complete 100% trust in someone? You trusted this person so much that you never doubted them for a minute? ... That is, until they gave you a reason to doubt them? And then that complete trust you once had was tossed out the window as if it never even existed?

Remember that moment that you first found out. Maybe your spouse or significant other slept with someone else or were simply talking to other females in an inappropriate fashion. At first, you don't want to believe it. It has to be some sort of misunderstanding. It can't be true. He wouldn't do that to you; he loves you too much.

Until you have all of the proof right in front of you. You feel like your entire world is crashing down on top of you. He touched another woman! He told her he loved her! He said he loved me! How can this have happened? What did I do wrong?

No matter what the reason for cheating is, it's not you, it's them. If they weren't happy in the relationship then they should have gotten out first. Being cheated on can kill a person's self-esteem and make them feel worthless and just not good enough.

It's Up To You

Will you stay or will you go? No one can make that decision for you, but you. It's your decision if you want to try to forgive and forget the bad deed and work on the relationship or if you want to move on by yourself. In my opinion, if you forgive them for cheating once, that gives them a green light to do it again because they think you will be ok with it each and every time. It's not worth it to me, but like I said, that's your decision, not mine.

Most people will choose to leave a relationship once the other person cheats. Then you are left with a hole in your heart, feeling that you will never be able to move past this. You don't want to be with anyone else, you won't be able to trust again, and you won't be able to love again.

Eventually though, it will get better.

The thing is, it won't be the same for everyone. You can do things to help ease the pain, but it's going to take time.

  • The best thing you can do is surround yourself with loved ones and friends whom you can talk to about what you are feeling. Go out and have fun instead of sitting at home letting your thoughts get the best of you.
  • Find a new hobby. Discover a new hobby that you really enjoy and concentrate on that new hobby. Whether it be collecting something or creating something, see what's out there that really sparks your interest.
  • Cut off contact with the other person. They may grovel and beg for your forgiveness, but the best thing you can do is to not respond. Block them if you have to. There is nothing in the world that justifies cheating and you don't need to listen to the excuses or the apologies. 
  • Work on yourself. What's something you have been wanting to do for yourself for a long time? Maybe lost some weight? Work out more? Get a massage? Pay some attention to yourself and you will feel a lot better in the long run.
  • Make a to-do list. We all have things that we want to get done in the back of our head, but we just never get around to it. Well, stop just thinking about it and get busy! Make a list of some of these things and work on them as you have time. Always keep yourself busy so that you don't have time to think about your last relationship.
Whatever you do, do not jump into a relationship to fill that void. You need time to heal your broken heart before attempting a new relationship. This can be difficult because if someone hurts us, the first thing we want to do is prove to ourselves and that other person that we can find someone better, but rushing into a new relationship is not going to turn out well. You don't want to bring that baggage into a new relationship, so you must ensure that you are healed before moving on to someone new. That's not fair to the new person or yourself to do that.

Relaxation meditation

The biggest thing you need to remember is that you deserve better than to be with someone who can't or won't be faithful. You should be with someone who will never purposely do anything to hurt you.

You are worth more than that!

Once you feel the hurt lessen and that you are ready to date again, get out there and do it. Keep your guard up, but don't be afraid to open yourself up to new possibilities.

Tweet: How to move on from being cheated on: https://ctt.ec/cyb4e+ #infidelity #cheatedon #divorce @tatteredsoul77

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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Good Riddance to 2017, Welcome 2018!

I typically enjoy going over an end of the year review--thinking back on things that have happened over the last year. As I’m sitting here thinking about 2017, all I can say is 2017 has sucked ass!!

Nothing extraordinary happened this year, not much good happened at all. I mean, I’m here. I survived. I’m still alive, but that’s about it. We had a few fun things that we did, but nothing really noteworthy except for back in June when an old friend came to visit, whom I hadn’t seen in 10 years. That was a blast!!

My book was released December 1, so that was definitely a good thing.

Which, btw, can be purchased directly through me for a cheaper price right here. This is kind of a big deal to me because it’s something I’ve dreamt of doing for many years. Now, I just need to get motivated enough to work on my next book. I’ve already started it, but can’t seem to be motivated to work on it much.
I’ve sort of lost my motivation for blogging as well. I feel like I’ve been working all year to write quality content here and promote the Hell out of it, but my pageviews just seem to stay the same. I know we are not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but it’s frustrating to see other bloggers bragging about making 5k a month while I’m struggling to make pennies. Why doesn’t shit ever seem to work out for me? It’s like, I watch everyone else succeed at things, but it never happens for me. Like I’m just not meant to be successful--at anything. I can’t afford to pay hundreds of dollars to take a course or get personalized help. I’m a struggling single mother, I just don’t have it.

So, what do I do? Give up? I feel like, what’s the point of putting my effort into writing blog posts if no one reads them? Should I expand what I write about? I love writing, obviously, and don’t want to throw it all away, but is it just a waste of my time? I don’t expect to get rich, but come on! I’m struggling here!!

Here is to hoping, wishing, and praying that 2018 is a better year.

How was your year?

Tweet: Good bye 2017, Hello 2018. Here's to a better year!! See: https://ctt.ec/US9Aa+ #2018 #2017sucks #newyear @tatteredsoul77